life

Life’s a Coin Toss

Posted on December 17, 2009. Filed under: humor, Joy, life, photo | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I love this! Sadly I shall be using this trick from time to time.

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Baby Gives The Finger

Posted on April 24, 2009. Filed under: humor, life, photo | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

This is so very juvenile and I love it!

At first I was surprised and amused that there was an entire flickr group dedicated to these pics.

Then I thought well, of course there is.

These are my two favorites.

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Why People Should Wear Condoms

Posted on January 26, 2009. Filed under: family, funny, humor, life, mental health, parenting, random, self-awareness, social issues, teen |

https://i1.wp.com/ridingabuttertub.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/preggos.jpg

Okay before everyone freaks out this clearly  is a joke but was posted on Yahoo Questions many times.

With that said it did make me laugh out loud, so I thought I would share even though the picture is kinda fuzzy.

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Is It Better To Love Or To Be Loved?

Posted on December 31, 2008. Filed under: humor, Joy, life, love, random, relationships, romance, self improvement, self-awareness, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , |

stop1

Okay so here is the premise. You have to pick one or the other but not both.

Is it better:

1. To be in love with someone who does not love you?

Or

2. To be with someone who is in love with you but who you do not love?

I have been on both sides of this coin and I’m here to say they both suck. Seriously, it is a lose lose situation.

One does suck slightly less than the other.

I can’t wait to see your opnions.

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The Decline Of A Relationship

Posted on December 30, 2008. Filed under: funny, humor, life, love, psychology, relationships, romance, self-awareness |

Thanks to www.xkcd.com for the image

Thanks to http://www.xkcd.com for the image

I have had this happen to me. Someone once graphed how much time I spend at work vs. with them, my partner…. as a presentation, on a pie chart. It was insane!

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Love The Most Beautiful Form Of Insanity

Posted on December 29, 2008. Filed under: family, happiness, life, love, mental health, romance, writing | Tags: , , |

iloveyou

When you haven’t been in love since forever it can seem nearly like a myth. Then from out of no where it hits you, and it is the most beautiful form of insanity you could never imagine. The poem below reminds me of this and much more….sigh


A Little Love Poem by Andy Weaver

Someone who hates scrabble.Someone who sleeps on her back near an open window in winter, her breath rolling like a river into night.

Someone who wants me to wake her in the morning by reading ee cummings’ love poems, giving a small candle-flicker of a smile just before opening her eyes.

Someone who appreciates the architecture of churches, but refuses to step inside.

Someone who has hands fit to hold hurt sparrows and robins.

Someone who threw out an her Alice Cooper records when she found out he loves to golf.

Someone who would swerve a new car into the ditch to avoid a frog crossing the road.

Someone who would tattoo my name on her arm in writing the same colour as her skin, so it would appear slowly from nowhere when she suntanned, people thinking her blood was telling secrets to the world of its own accord.

Someone who learned Spanish to read Marquez, or Lorca, or Neruda.

Someone whose hips whisper their own stories of the serpent and the garden of Eden.

Someone who bites the back of my neck like a leopardess carrying her kitten to safety.

Someone who’ll make me wait for her to come out of the shower.

Someone whose smallest movements amaze me: her hair falling over her eyes, the soft swell of her hips when she ties down, a deep sigh when she sleeps.

Someone who maps every ticklish part of my body and then uses her knowledge strictly for evil.

Someone who paints our bodies black and makes love with me under the stars.

Someone who burns through my chest like that first shot of scotch.

Someone whose tongue, if we’re kept apart too long, would nervously trace my face into the roof of her mouth.

Someone who practises her signature with her wrong hand, in case of accidents or a sudden arrest.

Someone whose fingrnails smell faintly of her hair.

Someone who reminds me of the soft tickle of fog.

Someone who would rush outside in the middle of the night, setting a spider onto the lawn, never admitting it’s because she hates rain.

Someone who understands the unforgivable importance of ravens.

Someone wholl flicker into my lips with the ferocity of a dragonfly.

Someone who will open, thick, pungent and vital, like a Mapplethorpe flower.

Someone who has searched for me like a near-sighted woman groping for her glasses, stubbing her toes and swearing in Yiddish.

Someone who would understand why Steve and Dave and Paul and I sat in a bar staring at the mirror behind us for twenty minutes because somebody had asked what would happen if you looked at yourself in a mirror using a pair of binoculars unti1 we had to admit the question was too big for us, and we turned back to the safe optics of the beer bottle.

Someone who would just happen to cut my wrist shortly after reading Ondaatje’s “The Time Around Scars. ”

Someone who’ll stare softly but straight at me, smiling reassuringly when I tell her how my 73 year old Medieval lit prof looked up from Chaucer, stared blankly over the class’s heads and said that even the happiest marriage will end in death.

Someone who understands the efficiency inherent in suicide.

Someone who knows that love can be the thickest slice of hell we’ll ever taste.

Someone who would dance with me by the sides of highways.

Stumble It!

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Do You Ever Coordinate Your Clothes?

Posted on December 27, 2008. Filed under: funny, humor, life, parenting, psychology, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

color4

I don’t mean for your self that is a  no brainier, but I mean for your entire family?  I just went t0 dinner with a bunch, seven, friends and about half admitted to on a regular basis color and or style coordination.  I was in shock and awe. Yeah I know shock and awe, but I was, so what s the word bird……Like what the F…  Okay for pictures with a photographer, but just to go to dinner? Honestly I have never considered it.  One very good friend admitted to getting mad if her husband refuses to coordinate.

They all said assuredly, I do not, could not, would not, and should not….Ha ha “You are just lucky if you and your family make it to the car for the outing”.  I so had to laugh cause well it is true.   But then I got kinda pissed since that seems true but highly insulting. They collectively decided I am just too free spirited to do that.

Yup that me just way too free spirited, so I’m the crazy one.

Do you coordinate?

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Today May Be the Best Day You Have

Posted on November 30, 2008. Filed under: family, Joy, life, love, self-awareness | Tags: , , , , , |

Life is not about money, fame , big houses, etc…

The riches of life are apparent every day.

When you wake up in the morning, go outside, and watch the sun rise, enjoy the fresh air, adore your spouse in the morning, spend time with your child as if you will never see them again.

Today may be the best day you have.

There is no promise of tomorrow. Unknown

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How to Pick the Perfect Christmas Tree

Posted on November 30, 2008. Filed under: christmas, christmas tree, family, holiday, home, how to, life, xmas | Tags: , , , , , , , |

ahhhh-santa

First don’t freak out it can be a lot of fun. Yes fun!

Know your tree types. Because most artificial trees today mimic real ones, the tree type is equally important to consider for both artificial and live trees. The advantages for artificial are, they are better for the environment, your allergies will thank you and they will save you money over time. Trees vary in coloration, needle style and shape, creating a look and feel to complement personal style and preference. Among some popular varieties are the Fraser Fir, Scotch pine, Noble fir, Spruce and Douglas fir. Yet another option is a potted tree.  No reason to cut it down. Keep it all year long.

Where do you want to buy it? Artificial trees can be purchased online or at the obvious local big box stores.  If you have a bit more to spend the service and quality at specialty stores are hard to beat. You can even buy one pre-decorated. Yup take the fun right of the equation.

Live (pre-cut) trees can be purchased at small lots or at your local big box store. I often go to Home Depot in my area they have the best price and selection.  If you go to a big box store bring scissors and a tape measure.  The price is good but they are busy and don’t assist you like the pricier options.

Cut your own is a fun family option. the National Christmas Tree Association can refer you to your local association for a list of tree farms in your area, as well as farms that specialize in living Christmas trees. Call 314-205-0944 or visit www.realchristmastrees.org

Pick the right size for your space. Trees can be 18 inches short or over 12 feet tall. Also keep in mind that the stand and tree topper will add another 1-2 feet to the hight . So if you have 8 foot cealings don’t get a 12 foot tree. The With is also important. Okay that is my unintional joke of the day. Moving along….

Pick a Healthy Tree. keep in mind a healthy tree will only loose a few needles when you shake it. If the tree is brown or light for its size, pick another tree. Look for bald spots, make sure the base and body of the tree are straight..  Now the top make sure it has one in tact top. One not two like the one I had last year did. Yes the second top can be trimmed off but it will never look the same. Have the tree people, yes I said tree people they don’t have a title…trim 2-3 inches off the base and re-wrap it.

Now get it Home. Bring a vehicle that can transport a tree.  On Top, in the trunk, or even the back seat (if you are so inclined) but think about it before your purchase.  Last year I saw a lady ,after she bought the tree, realize she owned the worlds smallest car with a giant tree.  Okay I repeat…..Bring a vehicle that can transport your tree.

Before you know it you will be on your way with your new tree.

Happy Hunting!small-car-large-tree


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