Not That Anything’s Wrong With That

Posted on February 23, 2010. Filed under: funny, humor, photo, random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I know this image has been all over but I just needed to post this.

Still I can’t believe the New Orleans Saint’s WON!

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Anti Love Jokes

Posted on February 16, 2010. Filed under: humor, random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

"Prang's Valentine cards". Advertise...
Image via Wikipedia

In response to Valentine’s Day and an abundance of chocolate I thought I would post three sexists and tasteless jokes.

~Joke One

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair that if a guy f***s a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl f***s just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock. That shut her up.

~Joke Two

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he says. “I’m going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free.”
The husband thinks for a mom=ent, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. “Where do you think you going?” the wife asks. “I’m coming with you…I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!”

~Joke Three

A man comes home and shouts “Honey! Pack your bags! I just hit the lottery!”
She screams “OMG! What should I pack?”
He says, “Everything! Get the f*** out!”

All of the jokes were shamelessly copied from bash.org

Bash.org is so funny. If you want to see some jokes in old school irc format I highly recommend this site.

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Life Is Long…If You’re Lucky

Posted on October 2, 2009. Filed under: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

6523_540

I have said this in one way or another so many times.

Source 9 GAG

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Bring Your Own Woman BYOW

Posted on September 22, 2009. Filed under: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

12004_full

Where’s the “We Do Not Serve Men Here” sign?….I always have a few of those lying around.

Thanks to 9gag for the image

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Amazon Sells Coffins and Shovels For The DIY

Posted on June 24, 2009. Filed under: satire, saving | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

coffinThis is one of those things you know you’re gonna need it, but would you buy it before the time? A good alternative is the coffee table coffin.

…..”why buy a casket just for one day?”

The reviews for the Traditional Coffin are priceless:

It is certainly a great value considering average cost of a shiny metal caskit is 4-6k when purchased at the funeral home. It is a bit snug in the chest area ,but I do weigh 270 lbs at this time. I hope to be down to 200 before I will be needing to use it full time. Definitely would buy again If I could.

And

I will be buried in a ‘Got Wood?’ T-shirt to complete the theme.

Death, I challenge you!!!!!

For the true DIY

Customers Who Bought Related Items Also Bought

Free 2 Day shipping on the casket with Amazon Prime (you might be in a hurry).

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Man Beat Up By 20 Children

Posted on May 29, 2009. Filed under: how to, humor, odd | Tags: , , , , , , , |

streetfight

An Australian man claims he was beaten severely by a gang of 20 children over smokes, according to news.com.au.

He said they asked him for cigarettes and when he informed them he did not have any, the 20 beat him to a pulp. He needs to have surgery and is missing some teeth. This is not funny in the least if it is true. However if he made the entire story up,based on an old Cracked posting, I say funny. He was out drinking with friends and it could have been an elaborate cover up story.

Okay just stay with me for one more minute. Cracked ran a story last year How to win a fight against twenty children. It was insane yet very funny.  They had great tips such as Speed, Stay Mobile, Go For The Leader First and Groin Attacks hint: Wear a cup.

 

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Mancow More Cow Than Man, After Waterboarding

Posted on May 22, 2009. Filed under: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

cowcow yukihana's photostream

According to MSNBC , shock jock Mancow decided waterboarding wasen’t torture, and he did it for fun.

The article goes on to point out, “Turns out the stunt wasn’t so funny. Witnesses said Muller thrashed on the table, and even instantly threw the toy cow he was holding as his emergency tool to signify when he wanted the experiment to stop. He only lasted 6 or 7 seconds.”

“It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that’s no joke,”Mancow said, likening it to a time when he nearly drowned as a child. “It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back…It was instantaneous…and I don’t want to say this: absolutely torture.”

I just thought this was rather funny. Remember Mancow is a shock jock, the person often giving people a hard time. He is just like, I’m tough, I can take it, and he totally bitched out. They say the average person can take it for 14 seconds before freaking out and he lasted 6-7.  Don’t get me wrong I know I couldn’t do it and I would not willingly attempt such a feat.

Now let’s just Cheney to try waterboarding. Maybe he will change his tune too.

One of the fastest growing groups on Facebook is Telling Dick Cheney To Shut The Hell Up 55,000 members and growing in 2 days.

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India’s Answer To Same Sex Marriage

Posted on May 14, 2009. Filed under: random, satire | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

gay-indianThe BBC recently ran a story titled “Indian Village Paves Way to Love”. It chronicles the hardships faced by the 121 confirmed bachelors which without a road remain single. They were left with empty promises after the newly elected Member of the Legislative Assembly did not provide the road he pledged. They in their frustration decided to build their own road, and have succeeding in completing half thus far. Their efforts have been halted by land ownership issues.

To that I say bull,  that’s right bull. My guess is this is where India sends their gays. Yes I know gay is not plural. As reported by The Washington Post in June 2008 thousands … okay hundreds marched in New Delhi in attempt to shine the light on gay rights or the lack there of in India. Apparently Gay does not exist in India.

The Indian Penal Code contains a colonial-era provision known as Section 377, which prohibits sexual activity that is “against the order of nature.” The statute carries punishment of up to 10 years in prison.

Against the order of nature? Wow that seems rather vague.  I can think of lots of people that such a rule would apply to. I think I will use that excuse tonight.  Sorry babe I would like to but it would be “against the order of nature.”  I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Tweet This Blog Post!

Thanks to Bearman Cartoons for the Tweet this image and code.

Bearman’s cartoons and posts are so funny. You will love it!

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