Anti Love Jokes

Posted on February 16, 2010. Filed under: humor, random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

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In response to Valentine’s Day and an abundance of chocolate I thought I would post three sexists and tasteless jokes.

~Joke One

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair that if a guy f***s a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl f***s just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock. That shut her up.

~Joke Two

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he says. “I’m going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free.”
The husband thinks for a mom=ent, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. “Where do you think you going?” the wife asks. “I’m coming with you…I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!”

~Joke Three

A man comes home and shouts “Honey! Pack your bags! I just hit the lottery!”
She screams “OMG! What should I pack?”
He says, “Everything! Get the f*** out!”

All of the jokes were shamelessly copied from bash.org

Bash.org is so funny. If you want to see some jokes in old school irc format I highly recommend this site.

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If The Government Ran Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2009. Filed under: humor, love, romance | Tags: , , , , , |

gov-love-doc

Printable image.

Thanks to Buzz Feed for the document.

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